ALWAYS AND FOREVER

Kathy PovNôvel/Dr(a)ma.Org - Content owner.

I just stood there staring at him, I couldn’t believe him, he had the nerve to ask me that, I could say the same for him, he was the one who hasn’t been around so why did he think he could ask me where I have been.

“And you think I am going to answer you?”

“What the fuck Katherine? Do you know how scared I was that something had happened to you? And you weren’t taking your calls either, at least learn to answer your God damn phone,”

He cursed, I rolled my eyes and made to pass by him, he stopped me with his hand, I shoved at him.

“Get your hands off me, why were you calling me? why does my staying out late have anything to do with you, you don’t care about what happens to me remember? I am not your business, so don’t fucking act like you give a fuck about me,”

“Katherine!!”

He barked.

“Cross!!”

I shouted right back, he looked around before pulling me by the hand and dragging me into the main house with him, I fought ticket his hand off me but he held in too strong, he was stronger than me.

“Let me go,”

I shouted but he didn’t listen, so I bite his hand, he screamed and let go, I stepped away from him and watched him winch in pain, for a moment I felt bad but when I thought of all the pain and tears he had made me go through these past few days, I decided he deserved it and even more.

“What the fuck?”

He said after the pain subsided.

“I told you to let me go, it’s not my fault, I was defending myself from a threat,”

I said stepping further away from him when I saw the look on his face, he was angry and looked scary.

“What? A threat? I am a threat to you?’

He asked moving close to me, his voice lower now, I shifted back, even more, I knew he would not hit me but I wasn’t so sure, better safe than sorry, he looked really scary that I realized this was the first time I have really seen him angry, the other times were just preview, he looked like a sounded lion and if he attacked me I would be powerless against him, I move even further away until my back was touching the walls of the staircase.

“Please don’t come closer, just let me be okay, I don’t owe you any explanation either, don’t act like you care about me,”

I said, my voice shaking, and I looked down to see that my hands were shaking too.

“Kathy!”

He voiced taking a step closer.

“Please, don’t come near me,”

I said in a much calmer voice and made to walk past him, but he held me back.

“Leave me alone,”

I shouted, I was really scared of how he looked and avoided his gaze.

“Kathy, look at me,”

“No, let me go,”

I said, dragging my hands, but he pulled and held my arms.

“No, you can’t walk out on me like you did yesterday, you are going to tell me where you have been,”

He replied, I tried to shake my arm off but he didn’t budge.

“Let me go, I am not saying a word to you, leave me alone,”

“Do you know just how long I have been waiting for you to come back home? And you think I am going to let you off without telling me where you have been? Then think again.”

I started laughing.

“Now, you know how it feels to be the one waiting, well guess what, I have been there Cross, I have been there not just once, I sat at that window for three nights waiting for you to come back home, and those weren’t the first either, and you know what makes it more painful, you never came, so I went to bed each of those night with tears in my eyes,”

I replied and I pitifully began to cry, I hated myself for being so weak in front of him.

“Kathy, hey, don’t cry,”

He said hugging me, at first I melted against his hug but then I realized and pushed him off.

“Have you lost your mind?”

I shouted at him.

“No,”

“Then don’t act like you care about me, or is this a new strategy to get to me? Are you trying to be nice to me on purpose so I won’t be bad to your mistress?”

I asked bitterly, he was acting like he gives a fuck about me so that he could manipulate me.

“Stop it, stop calling her my mistress, she is not,”

“I don’t give a fuck, just leave me alone,”

I said, walked past him and climbed upstairs, walking fast into my room, I wasn’t fast enough because he caught up with me before I could enter the room and carried me up, I dropped my purse and slapped him on the face but he didn’t drop me down.

“Let me go you moron,”

I shouted but he didn’t, instead, he turned and walked back towards the room we used to share, hitting him even more on the chest, I didn’t want to be in the same room with him.

“Put me down, Cross or I am going to bite you again,”

I added, he finally did put me down when we entered the bedroom and I immediately started walking back out, he blocked the door and locked it.

“Let me out of here Cross, what the fuck is wrong with you?”

“No,”

“No? Why? What do you want from me? Why can’t you just let me be? Do you enjoy seeing me sad this much? You want to cause me even more pain, fine, bring it on,”

I said throwing my hands in the air.

“Do your worst Cross,”

I added and moved closer to him, he grabbed me and kissed me, at first I was shocked, then realization came and I struggled against him, but he held me firm and continued kissing me roughly, after struggling without success for a while I finally gave in and let him kiss me, I realized just how much I missed his kiss, how much I wanted us to go back to being what we used to be, it brought tears to my eyes, his mouth went softer when he realized that I had given in, he eased off the kiss and let me go and I stood there defeated, i looked up at him and let him see my weakness, let him see that I didn’t stand a chance against him, he pulled me back and claimed my lips again, this time the kiss was softer, I kissed him back, he picked me up and laid me on the bed, before taking off his shirt, I knew what he wanted from me, I knew I shouldn’t let him have me as that would make things even worst for me but I wanted him so much, missed him so much, love him so much that it would hurt either way, he came back on me, kissing me, taking off my clothes, and every thought were off the window, I let him have me, and even while at it I could feel the sadness that has become my new friend, I fell asleep in his arms, it’s felt like home but sadly, I knew it was temporary, he was just using me to quench his hunger…

*****

Cross Pov

I watch her sleep, I couldn’t say I regretted what happened, no, I missed having her in bed with me, missed talking to her when I got home earlier and I hadn’t seen her, I waited for her to come back but she didn’t, I honestly got scared especially, when it was past nine and she wasn’t taking her calls, the worst part was I didn’t even know where to start looking for her, she had left before I had woken up and while I was in the office I couldn’t do a thing because I was having an inner battle with myself over our fight, we didn’t have to be fighting, Ginna wasn’t mine and her coming back into my life shouldn’t be a reason to fight with Katherine, there wasn’t even an issue so I wondered just why we were fighting, I admitted to myself that I missed her and came home when I knew she would already be back from school so that we could talk it out and makeup but she hasn’t been home, I waited patiently, and even called and texted her no, response.

I got off the bed and walked out of the room, going down to the kitchen, I went to the fridge got out a beer, and sat down, I knew I shouldn’t be drinking so late but I needed it, Ginna and I had spoken while I was waiting for Katherine, she told me she would gladly stay anywhere else if it means Katherine and I not having an issue, that she didn’t want to be a reason my marriage crash, I told her that wasn’t the case but she insisted that I makeup with my wife, which I was already going to do, I admit that I was wrong for saying those awful things to her and telling her off, staying away from the house too, I still want Ginna to move in here with us, and I told her that too, I just needed to make Katherine see reasons with me and know that there was nothing going on with us, I am offering to help her, I didn’t even know how I felt about her anymore, I still liked her quite alright.

“Cross,”

Nora said walking into the kitchen, I immediately regretted coming in here as I knew I was about to get a lot of scolding.

“Nora, I am just grabbing a late-night drink, I didn’t mess anything up here,”

I said showing her the beer.

“Yeah, you didn’t but you are messing up a lot lately, you make that girl cry and that’s bad of you,”

She said sitting on the other chair.

“What are you doing awake Nora?”

I asked taking a sip of my drink, I didn’t want to acknowledge what she had just said.

“I couldn’t sleep so I thought of coming here to bake,”

She replied, and I nodded, took the last sip of the beer, got up, and disposed of the can.

“I am going back to sleep, Nora, don’t stay up too late,”

I said, my back already on her.

“Cross?”

She called when I was almost out.

“Yes, Nora?”

I answered turning back.

“I don’t know what’s going on and I know it’s not in my place to ask but I just want to say whatever it is, can it not make Katherine cry? She is fragile, more fragile than you think and whatever has been going on has had a lot of effect on her, she barely eats and cries a lot, even though she tries to hide it, I am saying you should stop making her cry, I hope you understand, I have a daughter and would be mad if I find out she is going through what Katherine is going through, I am sorry if I step out of my place, but I wanted you to know,”

She said, I could feel she meant every word she said, I stood there staring at her for a moment before nodding and leaving without a word, I went back into our room and she wasn’t there anymore, she must have woken up while I was downstairs and gone back to the room she is now using, I thought if going there to wake her up and bring her back here but I decided not to, it was better to let her be, I laid on the bed thinking of how best to handle this without messing it up, I already made the mistake of letting Katherine cry and I didn’t an on doing it again, I fell asleep with the thoughts…