Chapter 373
373 Stop Stalling (Winona)
The master suite itself is almost absurdly luxurious, but I've managed to carve out a little space to breathe here. There's a separate living area off the bedroom and ensuite.
And for the past fifteen minutes, I've been psyching myself up, trying to gather the courage to take this
test.
I an
I know I need to know, and I know it can't wait any longer, yet each time I look at it, I freeze.
Henry's cries pierce the silence. His nursery is the massive walk-in closet. I wish there was space for the other kids too, but the monitors are doing the job for now. Right now, I'm grateful to have Henry close at least.
I drop the test on the small table, as I head to his crib. Henry's face is scrunched up, red and wailing, his little fists flailing. I scoop him up, rocking him gently, feeling the weight of him in my arms.
I can't help but smile; he's been through so much, and yet he's so resilient.
"It's okay, little man," I whisper, bouncing him gently as his cries settle. "It's just you and me. We'll get through this sore tummy, I promise."This text is property of Nô/velD/rama.Org.
His tiny hands clutch at my hair, pulling as he calms, his breathing evens out. I walk back to the living space with him. Glancing back at the table where the test lies waiting. I pop it back into my bag. It will have to wait a little longer.
Just as I get the test into my bag, there's a knock on the door. I jump, letting out a huff of frustration." Now who could that be, Henry?"
I open the door, glad I put the test out of sight. Never know. It's one of the maintenance staff helping with
the cottage.
"Mrs. Brennan," he starts, clearly nervous. "I need to double-check the paint choices for the kitchen and the main living areas. Then we can get started on painting."
"Come in." I say bouncing Henry to keep him calm.
He lays out the samples on the small table. "I'm confirming this one is for living room. This for dining. This for feature all and this for ceilings, Correct?"
I look at the shades of neutrals and the pop of feature color I'd picked. "Yes. Do you think they'll be okay?" The young man writes on the samples before carefully packing them back up. "Yes, Mrs. Brennan," he says, "Thank you. Sorry to disturb you." Then he's bowing slightly. "It's fine. You can always feel free to come and see me. Thank you for double checking."
He leaves, his footfalls echoing up the hallways
I close the door. Henry has dozed off, and I venture into his crib to get him tucked back in, hoping he doesn't wake again as I do it.
There, success. I resist the urge to squeeze his little cheek.
373 Stop Stalling
I'm alone with the test again, I go grab it out of my purse.
Maybe the painter who just left reports back to Judy.
A sudden chill prickles up my spine. Don't let it get to you. Make sure all they have to report is a happy family and a home filled with love.
My phone buzzes in my pocket. I pull it out and see a message from Lisa:
Did you do it yet? Killin' me here
I swallow hard, fingers hovering over the screen.
Not yet
Get it done. Stop stalling
She's right. I'm dragging this out, letting my own fears run wild. I pick up the test, take a deep breath, and march toward the bathroom. But as I reach the doorway, my phone buzzes again. It's Lisa, calling this time.
I hesitate, then answer. "Lisa, I swear, I'm about to take it."
"Good," she says, her tone relieved. "I can't take another minute of you stalling. You're making me anxious over here. This is for moral support."
I laugh, though it comes out shaky. "I know. I'm just... scared, I guess. Everything could change."
"Winona, whatever happens, it's just information. You'll still be you, and Jayden will still love you, no matter what. So, take the test, get the answer, and then go from there."
I nod, even though she can't see me. "You're right. I just-
"Winona," Lisa cuts in, her tone firmer. "You are the strongest person I know. You can handle whatever is at the other end of that stick."
Yeah, except she doesn't know about it's Lance and Phillip at the other end of the stick, possibly. Lisa has been in love with Lance forever. Will she hold my time with him against me? "I'm doing it."
"Good. I'll be waiting for the update."
I end the call, looking down at the test in my hand once more. This time, I don't let myself hesitate. I head straight to the bathroom, shutting the door behind me, letting the silence and solitude steady my nerves. But a
as I glance at the test, I hear the whirlwind that is my girls. God, they'll wake Henry. I grab the test and stick it in the vanity drawer. Then I rush out.
"Sarah, Abby... shush. Henry is sleeping." I say in a quiet but stern voice. "Also, you know you aren't to just barge in here like that."
They stop in their tracks. "Sorry Mommy, but Bobby says he'll take us to the swings if it's okay with you."
"When Henry wakes, we'll all go."
Abby pouts, "Oh Mommy...pleaaase."
373 Stop Stallma
"Abby! No means no. Now, I think you all have chores to do, don't you?"
She scrapes her feet along the floor. "I guess."
"Sarah, have you done your chores?"
Sarah shakes her head.
"Well, you both better get moving. Chores first. No arguments or I'll ban you off the swings for a week. I'll meet you in the kitchen shortly. The staff know what you need to do." "Okay."
Off they go.
I'm taking that test right now.
374 Test Time