My Name is NOT Cupcake

Chapter 30

My neck tingled where Elias marked me. I tried to imagine how my life would be if I left and went back

home. I would never see Elias again. That thought made me uncomfortable but I knew that it was just

the mate bond. In all honesty, I had no idea what I wanted to do anymore.

"I don't know," I answered honestly. I held Elias' hand in mine and played with his fingers. I liked the

feeling of warmth and protection I felt. I shook my head.

"I don't think I could leave right now. Granted, we didn't start off the best and I miss my family like crazy, Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org exclusive © material.

I don't think I could take it if I never saw you again, ever. I don't know if it's the mate bond or Stockholm

syndrome, but I don't understand my feelings for you. And when you kissed me... I never felt a kiss like

that before. It literally took my breath away and I didn't want it to end, but I didn't want to get closer to

you either because you hurt me... and I don't want to get hurt again," I tried to explain. His hand pulled

out of mine and went to my cheek.

"I'm not trying to hurt you," he assured me. I sighed and looked at the sheets before I prepared my next

question.

"Why was it so easy for you to sleep with her when I went into heat?" I asked quietly. His movement

stopped before he sighed and held my hand again. He knew exactly what I was talking about.

"Because I'd been with her before. Kendra was going to be Luna before I met you. As far as mates go,

I thought I missed my opportunity to be with you. I thought you were dead. I'm 27 years old and I didn't

find you until 6 months ago. That's not normal for Lycan. When you went into heat, I couldn't control

myself. I wanted you so bad... but I knew I couldn't have you because you would hate me. Kendra

offered... a solution, and I was too blinded by you heat to argue," he explained. I'm not going to lie...

that hurt.

"How am I supposed to know that you won't do it again? I'm just going to have to hope?" I asked. I

knew my face was probably turning red. He pulled my chin up and made me look at him.

"Because I learn from my mistakes, and I don't want to risk losing you again. I care about you, Novalyn.

I love you," he said.

I believed him... and that's what scared me. He moved to kiss me and I turned my cheek at the last

second.

"Is Kendra still... do you still talk to her?" I asked. He hesitated.

"She's in the pack, Nova. I have no choice... plus, she's a dear friend of mine. I've known her for a long

time," he said. I felt irritated by the thought.

"Why?" I asked automatically.

"Nova," he sighed. I shook my head and he stopped.

"No, don't bother, Eli. I'm going to go to bed," I said defeatedly. Every time we would make stride,

something brought us right back. It was tragic really because every time, I thought we were actually

getting somewhere. One-step forward, two steps back.