Chapter 35 -
The SUV was packed full of luggage and a few boxes, since William had also taken the last of his belongings to move to the Troy house. The whole pack was occupied with the funeral, and no one paid attention to the two of us packing up and preparing to leave. I kept expecting Shane to come out and say good-bye, but he never appeared. I sighed and could only accept that it was what it was. I had hurt him by refusing to stay.
There was no argument this time about whether or not to get a hotel. Other than frequent stops to relieve my poor, squashed bladder, and a few runs through the drive through of some fast food restaurants, we drove straight home. By the time we arrived in front of our dilapidated house, I was very uncomfortable, and my back hurt, but I was happy and relieved to be home. Daisy burst out the front door, and grabbed me up in a hug, and simultaneously burst into tears. Her words were all garbled and mixed up in her sobs. "Sorry...Nolan...scared... thought... you weren't going to come back."
I hugged her close, and then took her by the shoulders, looking into her teary blue eyes. "Of course I came back, Daisy. You are my family." I sighed and let her help me up the porch stairs and into our house. Gabe greeted me inside. He'd been working on the renovations in the kitchen, and he was covered with dust and wood shavings. "Welcome home, Luna. I'm... I'm sorry to hear about your husband." I grabbed him and hugged him too, dust, dirt and all. While the others struggled to bring the luggage inside, I shut myself in the bathroom and ran a bath. My legs were crampy, my back was aching... and lets be honest, my heart hurt. I had left my mate behind. My wolf was furious with me... but deep inside I knew I'd done the right thing... for once I'd done the right thing for me. Not for my father. Not for my mate. Not for my spouse. I'd taken care of Nina.All content is © N0velDrama.Org.
That is not to say I didn't check my phone a dozen times every hour, hoping for some word from Shane. I'd left him my contacts. I'd given him the address to our home in Troy. But he didn't call and he didn't text... so neither did I. If he didn't want communication, I wasn't going to force it on him. I picked myself up as best I could, and got back to the little life we had started. William went back to the club, which had generously given him a few extra days off for his brother's funeral. Daisy continued to work at the hotel with Gabe. And we had just spent a huge chunk of money to put down granite counter tops and a new stainless steel sink in our kitchen.
It felt like every day my belly got bigger, and moving around was becoming more and more awkward. Not only did I have the big ball of a belly in my way, but it was putting extra strain on my legs, and throwing me off balance. William insisted I take up using the crutches again, just to give me extra support as I moved around. I spent a lot of time sitting on our old couch, with my feet propped up on pillows, and Gabe's laptop balanced on my belly. I'd found a little online work, writing blogs for a women's health website, and that at least made me feel busy and useful. I was glad I could contribute a little money back into the pack coffers.
Daisy was forcing me to prepare for the delivery. She was nervous about my plan to deliver at home, but I wasn't. She had packed up a little kit with plastic sheets to protect the bed, and all the medical doo-dads we might need, right down to a little plastic clamp to tie off the umbilical cord. We had read millions of articles about home birth. Personally, I wanted to give birth in the bath tub, as that sounded like the most relaxing and painless method. In the last weeks the baby had become a kicker. It wasn't the sweet little nudges that I felt early on in the pregnancy, it felt like an all-out kickboxing match in my uterus. When she got up under my ribs, I couldn't breath, and when she put pressure in my lower pelvis, it made my legs feel numb. I admit that I actually worried that her violent acrobatics in the womb might be an indication that she was going to have the same violent personality as her father.
Two weeks had passed. I had spoken to Caydence on the phone. She was quiet, and didn't say much except to ask me how my health was, and how the pregnancy was going on. Once I assured her that everything was fine, she made her excuses and ended the call. I sighed and looked at my phone. I had to remind myself that it was what it was... I could not make everyone happy. I wasn't entirely sure that I had made myself happy either. A part of me felt empty without Shane. Like half of me was missing somewhere. I cursed and rubbed at my mark, which had a way of growing achy when I thought of him. As I sat on the couch that day, it was more than achy, it actually felt hot and a bit feverish to the touch. That is when I heard a car pull up in front of the house. I glanced at the clock in surprise. Daisy and Gabe were at work, and they weren't due back for a few hours. William was in the basement trying to fix something with the plumbing. There was a knock at the door, and there was no one but me to waddle over and answer it. I still had my phone in one hand as I swung it open, expecting to see a stranger. Maybe it was the delivery man with a package. But my head buzzed as I took in the sight of Shane standing on my porch. His shoulders were hunched, his hands were crammed in his pockets. His hair was all crazy. His clothes were rumpled from the long drive. He looked absolutely delicious. I was so shocked that my hand went slack, and my phone clattered to the floor. "Shane."
He gave me a lopsided smile. "Hey, Nina. Surprise."
Surprise? I'm not a fainter. I swear to god I'm not one of those weak, wimpy, swooning women. But as his musky sweet scent filled my lungs, my vision grew dark and narrow, until it was like I was looking at Shane through the wrong end of a telescope. My knees buckled and I would have hit the floor, if he had not jumped in to catch me. He carried me in, glanced around at the unfamiliar house, and then headed for the couch where I spent most of my time. He sat down, and arranged me on his lap, even though I thought I must be getting too heavy these days to sit on him. I couldn't help myself though, I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face in his chest. And just like that all the empty, unhappy feeling left me.
Shane's POV
I'm not going to lie, it hurt like hell that after everything, she just turned around and walked away from me. Like I meant nothing to her. Like we hadn't shared a fated bond that tied our souls together. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised that she could fight it. She had fought off her bond with Nolan, and rejected him. That took a lot of strength. But I wanted to believe that what we had was special and different... we had more than a bond, we had love. But as days stretched out, I began to doubt it.
I was plastered with work in the pack. There was meeting upon meeting with the elders, trying to hash out what the next course of action was since Nolan had died with out a ready heir. The elders were pushing Bernhard to call in William, and make him alpha, but we all knew that wouldn't work. It wasn't even about the fact that William was homosexual. William had never wanted to be an alpha, he had rejected the pack, and he seemed to be happy and settled in his new life. The next course of action then was to settle on me as an interim leader, until Nolan's child was born and was old enough to take over the responsibility. I wrestled with this for a long time. The elders lectured me about my duties and my calling as a beta. You must do this Shane, you must do that. The law says... blah blah blah. The discussions went round and round for days. I left the office and collapsed on my bed every night, and breathed in the fading scent of my mate on my sheets. My mind played over every moment of our time together. From the time we had made love in the hotel, and I'd given her my mark. To the day she'd sat in my lap and lovingly fed me with her own hands. But mostly I played over and over in my head the one-sided conversation she had had with Nolan on the day of his funeral. "We should have said NO."
I also remember Nolan, being drunk in his office saying, "She was my strength... and she took it with her when she left." God yes, that was exactly what I felt. I was walking around like this empty shell, but everything important had gone away with her. I had a long, long debate with my soul, night after night. I grew up in the Gold Mountain pack, and I loved it. I loved all my brothers and sisters. I loved Caydence and Bernhard like my own parents. I was a beta from a long line of betas... and that honor came with inherent responsibilities. It was a privilege to take charge in the interim, to be trusted with so many lives, to be in charge of the pack fortunes, to direct the day-to-day operations of a whole community. But without Nina... it was all empty and meaningless. It might have been my destiny and my birthright and all that, but it wasn't what I wanted. "We should have told them NO." Nina was the first person I had ever met who had the strength and wisdom to buck all the traditions, and all the rules, and make her own decisions. She decided for her freedom. And I decided for love. Once I made that decision, everything else fell into place like a perfect puzzle.
"I decline the position." I said resolutely at the next meeting. "I suggest that Bernhard come out of retirement and resume his duties as Alpha until his grand-baby is ready to take the helm. As for me, it is with the greatest respect, I am resigning my title of beta immediately." I looked straight at Bernhard. "I'm going to Nina."
In all this time I hadn't called her. The truth was, I was just being stubborn and prideful. I wanted her to call me. I wanted her to change her mind and beg to come back. Now as I tossed my phone in the car, I thought about calling her to tell her I was coming... but decided that I wanted the element of surprise. And I got it... because when she opened the door, and her beautiful golden eyes landed on my face, she practically collapsed in a heap right at my feet. I carried her back into the house, and sat with her on the ugliest couch I'd ever seen. The house was so torn up, I felt like we should be wearing hard-hats just to be inside it, but it didn't matter. If this was where Nina was, this was where I belonged.