The Search for Freedom

65 The Hesitation



Lil

I sat on the ground while waiting for Cain to come back and say something about the second person who was destined to fight me. I didn't know why we needed to search for that person here, though there were too many places in the world where there was no danger. Perhaps Cain thought that the people who were destined to fight with me were living in dangerous places. It wasn't my mistake if I could not assist him in his search for that person, because he was the one who chose to come here, not me.

After a few moments of waiting, Cain eventually came back. I knew it wasn't his mistake if I waited too long, but my mistake, for I did not help myself in searching for the second person. I could admit I was a bit lazy, but there was no use talking about it. Perhaps Cain was right that I was destined to have a curse and to fight with a hundred people to make me realize my laziness, but it could not help me solve my problem. I didn't know why I was born like this, though we were poor and I needed to work hard to exist in this world.ConTEent bel0ngs to Nôv(e)lD/rama(.)Org .

"Good news, I saw the second person you needed to kill," Cain reported.

"Then bring me to that person now, so this will be done."

I stood up and let Cain perform some magic, bringing us to the place where the second person was. Cain instantaneously transported us to the place where the grass endlessly crept. I was amazed to see a waterfall with pristine-clear water. There were many birds flying in the sky; huge trees with ripe fruits; plants swinging when the wind blew; and many others. I never expected that there would be this kind of place here.

"Where's the person I needed to terminate?" I asked.

"Do you see that river ahead? There, is the second person who was destined to fight. She's bathing there. Let's go, to see if she's still there," Cain replied.

"Do you mean that person is a woman?"

"She's precisely a woman, but not an ordinary woman. I witnessed, and was amazed of what she could do."

"Wait, tell me first what she could do before we go there and attack her. I want to be sure that we won't fail in our intention."

"Don't be so worried about it. I know you can kill her as easy as what it shall be, especially that I will help you doing that, so that we can proceed to the next person who was destined to fight you."

"Stop thinking about the third person, because we haven't even killed the second person yet. Why won't you tell me what she did?"

"She has the power of bamboo trees. I saw her catching fish in the river by just using her hands, hands which could turned into pointed bamboo shoots."

"Wow-what! That's what I'm talking about. You need to tell me what she can do before we will attack her, because my life might be in danger if she pricks me with her pointed bamboo hands." "Have you forgotten it was because of you? You did not help me in searching for her, and now you're asking me about her power?"

"Oh-sorry, but there's no use talking about that now. You're so inconsiderate that you'll let me risk my life for your own interest."

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"Can you stop making it opposite? You're so brave to answer me in your rude way, but you cannot even fight a woman without my help."

"So you're underestimating me now?" I slid my fingers in the pockets of my pands and I sat down on the ground. "You should go away and don't bother me again. You're just a cause of troubles." "Just because of what I said you're now squealing? Despite the fact that you didn't assist me in my search for the woman who was destined to fight you, I wasn't even squealing. You should not be like that, because we can't get rid of the curses if you'll just sit down there!" Cain reprimanded.

"Can you just stop talking? Don't you know that I'm thinking about how I can kill that woman who has hands made of bamboo?" I defended.

"I had told you, she's just a woman. We can kill her easily because I'm going to help you too. Can you trust me even just for a second?"

"Don't you ever think I want to kill that woman without your help? You told me I'm so lazy, so you should not help me kill her, because I could become stronger if I kill her without your help. I just want to make you stop from underestimating my capability."

"Are you sure you don't need my help?" Cain sat down beside me.

"You've told me that she's just a woman who will be dropped down with just a punch. Why are you asking me that I can't kill her alone? I'm right-you're really underestimating me."

Cain told me that nobody could make me feel inferior without my consent. However, he also said that making myself inferior was also a way of being humble. And being humble could build a good partnership.

That was what he was always telling me, that being patient and submissive could help us have a strong partnership. Whereas, unexpected events could cause us to lose our patience and become non-submissive in defending ourselves against someone who was treating us as inferior and underestimating our capability in one situation.

Those things were making me think deeply. Perhaps my characteristics had changed a lot, and I had become snobbish and disrespectful. Unlike before, I respect everyone I meet, even if I don't know them. I knew being disrespectful could remove others' dignity, for nurturing someone's dignity always began with respect. There was one thing I could say about it: it wasn't me who changed myself, but my experience, the pain, and those subconscious demeanours, for my manner depended on someone else's treatment.

My demeanor did not matter in this kind of situation after all. I thought being snobbish and disrespectful could help me do unlawful things without considering others' feelings. I can't believe I'm that inconsiderate, but it should be done for the sake of my freedom.

"If that's what you really want to do, I won't contradict it, but make sure you won't fail in killing the woman." Cain pressed my shoulder while trying to stand up, as if he was having an artritis.

"You said once that you trust me. Why won't you also trust and believe me that I can kill that bamboo woman with just a punch?" I asked.

"I want to tell you something about her." He replied, for the first time, in a serious tone of voice.


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