Nothing
Marriage … does anyone really know how to do it properly? The lust they once felt for each other turned into something else entirely. Something constant, and boring, subtle but stronger than they realized.
She was angry at him, but she forgave him. The hurt never really goes away. But she was still there. Once in a while, she would hurt him for what he had done, and he would take it because he knew he deserved it. Then she would feel guilty for hurting him and makeup with him in passionate lovemaking as if it was the first time they were making love.
He had fallen in love with another woman a long time ago. She had proclaimed her love to another man just a few days ago. But this … this is what married people do. They fight, they say mean things to each other, they argue, they hate each other’s guts sometimes, and they fuck … to make each other feel better.Property © NôvelDrama.Org.
His body, her body, their bodies together. To think there was ever anyone else between them was like an illusion. The way he looks at her when she was on top of him, his smile, the delight in his eyes, the love was still very much there. It just lay dormant most of the time.
He came, she came, and they laughed. How could they have forgotten how good they are together? And now the thing they fought about felt so silly. For a brief moment when she laid her head on his chest, she felt peace. The peace only lasted for so long because when she was back at her working desk the next day, her reality was calling her on the phone from across the street.
Before she knew it, she was laying her head on another man’s chest while her mind was in chaos trying to figure out what she was really doing. Her heart ached and her head was all over the place.
“What’s the matter?” he sensed it as he stroke her hair. “Your silence is deafening.”
How could she talk about her marriage with her boyfriend? How does that even work?
“Nothing,” was the only answer she could find to his question.
He let out a long exhale, “Hmm … ‘nothing’ sounds so heavy in your head … can we do something about it?” He turned her face to look at him.
She forced a smile, “It’s nothing I can’t handle.”
It’s Declan. Her marriage. His family. Something to do with all that. Roman knew in an instant, and it was potentially damaging what he’s already established with her. Being the side guy is not to his advantage, not for him. While most people would enjoy a non-commitment relationship, with no responsibility, he wanted her for himself. He wanted the commitment, he wanted to be the only one.
“Okay … “he sat up. “Obviously it’s nothing … you know I’m here for you … whatever it is … you can tell me.”
She glanced at him for a second, it was their friendship that bound them together, followed by the hot sex. They didn’t want sex to be the center of their relationship like most affairs do. But if he knew what happened between her and Declan last night, it would surely enrage him.
“Come on … tell me … I can take it,” he brushed her cheek with the back of his hand.
She looked away and put her head back on his chest, “I can’t … I’m fine … really.”
He chuckled, “You can’t say something like that and expect me not to wonder … it’s Declan … right? What else could it be? Just tell me, Olivia, what is it this time?”
He couldn’t really take it. But he had to, he took that risk when he pursued her. He knew the consequences.
She covered her face with both hands, his willingness to listen made her want to let go of all the burden in her heart. But that would be cruel to him. “I don’t know how to do this,” she sighed. “I don’t think I can do this,” she added.
“You’re not supposed to do this.”
His answer surprised her.
“You’re supposed to leave him … and be with me,” he continued.
She was silent. The thought of ending her marriage had never been as real as at that moment. But is it really what needs to happen? Is her marriage not worth another try? And what happened the night before, would Roman still say that if he knew she had fought and made up with Declan?
The thought of having to go through IVF treatment and have children with Declan to prove themselves worthy of Hunt’s legacy was weighing on her mind. Is that the life she wants for herself? But to give it all up to start again with someone new was daunting.
His calloused hand rubbed the back of her neck, “You wouldn’t be here with me if that never crossed your mind … you’re not that person … and that’s the reason why I’m not letting you go, I know that’s what you want … you just have to be brave enough to do it.”
She looked at him. She was amazed at how his words could always comfort her, how she finds her truth in them, how he guides her through the maze of her own mind.
“Staying with him is easy, Olivia, you just have to settle with what you already have … but isn’t that the real problem? You don’t want to settle for it … you want out … that’s the hard part … you have to let go so you can have what you really want.”
She looked at him deep and hard. Really … really looked at him. Had he never come into her life, would she ever felt so torn or convinced at the same time that what he was saying was all true? It wasn’t him that she really wanted, it was ending her marriage with Declan, that was what she wanted. And meeting him was just the trigger she needed to realize it. Her cheeks started to feel the warmth of her own tears. Just last night she thought she could deny it, but with Roman, she was herself again and not Declan Hunt’s wife, the person she was too used to that she has mistaken her for herself.
He pulled her into his embrace and kissed the top of her head. “Let me stay with you in the hardest time of your life … because I want to be there in your happiest … ”
She held him as tight as she could. No one would understand the comfort Roman had given her. It was the hardest time of her life, and Roman was there every step of the way until she can finally tell Declan what she needed to tell him.
They were careful. At least that’s what they think. They were wise not to add to the chaos by giving in to their burning desires. But even so, their intimacy was caught on camera. When he kissed her forehead before letting her go back to her husband, his grip on her hand and how hard it was for him to let her go every time. The look in their eyes as they look at each other before saying goodbye. It was all captured in a series of photos that can tell their stories without them knowing it.